I thought I would start with this post on WEDTOBER as it not the most positive post, but this is wedding planning and as many brides will know its not all fun and games and I have alway said that I will be honest on this blog.
So whilst the wedding planning is going full steam ahead, it doesn’t stop the little niggles and stresses that will arise. I can honestly say that this is the most stressed I have been in the whole process, the good news is that we have done so much, the list we have left to do is long but the jobs are small compared to what we have done so far.
However my stress is actually nothing to do with the planning, it’s to do with the people. Now the situations I am about to discuss with you won’t be read by the actuall people that are involved but I will not be disclosing names for obvious reasons. I honestly don’t know if any of you that have planned weddings have gone through this but I have three main points that I am going to touch on and they are all about the invites.
Only days after getting engaged I was faced with the insufferable question of “I am invited, right?” to which my response was usually I do not even have a venue or a date so I have not even thought about a guest list. Obviously you know the most important people you want there but I hated the expectation that you may not have spoken me in the last 6-12 months but now I am getting married, you wish to be my best friend and guarantee yourself an invite.
When we have sent the invites out to families and one of the adult sibling are unavailable to make it, there has been an assumption that the invite can be retained and assigned out to someone else at the sole discretion of the original invitee (or parent of). I don’t think there is quite a clear understanding that when that invite is declined, that invite reverts back to us and it is then our decision as to what is done with said invite, just because it was sent to them does not mean that you can get to decide what is done with it.
Then you face the problem when you only invite certain members of the family and not others, no believe me I am not ashamed to admit it, some people have been invited tactfully, by this I mean some people have been invited to take care of the older generation with health problems and others so that people are not in attendance on their own and do not know anyone else.
The last issue that I am going mention that I am facing (as its not on his side), is that I have not invited certain family members that I have not seen in over 5 years but they are just expecting to be invited as the are classed as family. I have always been of the opinion that friends are sometimes more of a family than my actual family and I do not like the expectation that I will not invite these friends to make room for family that I have not seen in the whole time that I have been with Adam - in fact he even asked on one occasion "who are these people on the draft invite list?".
So now we have come to the end of my mini breakdown, which I do apologise for, but I would love to hear from any of you that have had the same or a similar problem, even if it’s not invite related I would be really interested to hear what stressed you guys out. Until my next wedding post which I promise will be much more positive.
Elisha-The E Diaries
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